a poem about a breakup

The pieces crashed to the floor
But instead of putting them back together
I swept them into a dustpan, and put them in the trash.

It was hard to get every piece on that first go, and once in a while I step on a piece. 
Hard and sharp, my foot bleeds.

I curse and put the shard into the trash. 
I bandage my feet and step carefully around the floor to avoid stepping on any other pieces.

Sometimes I go days without stepping on any shards. 

But that became exhausting, tip toeing around, avoiding the broken. Plus the bandages were becoming soggy and suffocating.

I peeled off the bandages and began to step. slowly at first. becoming less afraid if I stepped on a piece from time to time.

What’s a little blood? Anyhow, my heels have always been cracked.

new poem - Sam B

People are just in it for themselves at the end of the day.
Also at the beginning of the day, too.

Observations - 1/31

A black man in a large camel colored fur coat, it looked like real fur -
Standing in front of a Rabbi who was
occupied with his orange soda, eyes
closed - headphones in ear.
-
Right in front of me a very
interestingly dressed Asian woman
in her late 20s or early 30s had an admirable air of confidence.
Her thick, long hair
somewhat messily cascaded down to her lower back.
Perfectly round - and small - wire framed glasses rested on her cheeks.
She was speaking with another artist type, a man, same age.
She was wearing the most interesting ... Coat?
More of a large sweater.
It resembled a quilt. A quilt that had pilled.  Fabric goosebumps covered the sweater.
It was bright neon green
And the buttons were in the back.
She wore a beret of sorts.
-
To my right was an older gentleman that bared a striking resemblance to
Roger Ebert in his prime.
He was cloaked in a puffy red Canadian Goose Down.
-
These were the people on my subway car on my way from 86th to Union Square.

"This is not what we had in mind"

This is not what we had in mind

When we said adulthood

We meant understanding things
completely
wholly

Bored
I snap my gum at my desk
Listening to football talk and thinking about
2006

Is it just me
or is there nothing good on TV

Anymore

Or it could be my attention span.
It is shrinking.disproportionately decreasing

Tired

I cherish moments with loved ones

Giggling, talking, praying. Wondering about
2021

But only for a second or two
Because there are dishes to be done
Bills to pay

Events to attend

Sleep

Travel

Negotiate

Shake hands

and Netflix and Phones and praying and loving and hugging and flossing and emailing and typing and watching and cleaning and eating and nodding and subways and cars and highways and bridges and frustrations and comedies and looking and waiting in line and reading the paper

But only for a second
because i don't
r e a l l y
want to understanding everything

anymore.

Superstitions

I tucked the two small photos into my wallet

Excited to hang them up as my first pictures in my office

Nay, more accurately- it is a cubicle.

My adorable, adored, adorned with smiles

Niece and nephew

Were tucked into my wallet

New class pictures fresh from the printer

Both smiling proudly. Eight and Five, they are

Lovely Loved Lovable.

I proudly took them out of my wallet and placed them on my desk.

Unsure of the exact location on where they would be hung

Nay, more accurately- thumbtacked

In my space.

The day went on

And one of my clients phoned me

Eager, I answered.

She needs an extension on the contract.

Disgraced, Displaced, Disappointed

I wanted my first sale in the books that day

I looked at my desk. My niece and nephew. The pictures.

I tucked them back into my wallet.

I will hang them up after I get my first sale

In the books.

-

I have always wanted to help an old woman cross the street.
It is such a good thing to do,
in the truest sense of the word good.  Tonight I saw an old woman
crossing the street.
It looked like she needed help.
Old and frail she wobbled across 7th ave
Clutching her pocketbook close.
My instinct was to help but in a case of disillusionment I realized
I didn't know how to help.
Do I grab her arm ?
Or would that startle her?
Do I offer to hold her pocketbook?
Or would I come off as some sort of amateur thief?
So I walked past her
Not helping at all
Instead just wondering how, logistically
One would help an old woman to cross the street.

3rd week on the job

SO...

I put bandaids on my heels this morning

because of new flats I purchased from Jcrew

Sea Green.

My previous wear with these flats (the first wear)

caused blisters, bubbly and rough.

today was my second wear

i often sit in my desk chair with one leg curled under me, makes me propped up.  

my one foot is under my butt.

i get up from my chair for a meeting

walk to the meeting room

sit down and have the meeting

after the meeting a girl says to me

oh you have something i think, stuck to you, it looks like a bandaid

there was a bandaid hanging

from my butt

third week on the job.

-