4/13/2011

Hi All. After spending a good portion of my week thinking about denouncing my American citizenship due to the fact that our country voted off Pia Toscano over the likes of Scotty McCreery, I've decided to remain American and watch idol tonight to see how things go.

Like seriously, what a joke! oy.

At least J-Lo never fails to look anything less than stellar. Super cute tonight J-Lo, super cute.

1st up is Paul McDonald who I am already not at all excited to see because of his

a) dumb outfit he wears literally EVERY week and
b) his stupid bio we just saw talking about how he wants every song to be an "encore" song for his "show." what "show?" What are you saying Paul.

Why am I watching Paul McDonald flail around the stage when i could be watching Pia T doing her thing and actually having a great voice and singing well. Why America, Why?

Question: are the judges being paid to only compliment everyone? It's actually painful. Wow his teeth are white. He's definitely got that goin for him. But that's about it.

Next up is Lauren ALAINA singing Miley frickin Cyrus. I don't know who is more fundamentally annoying: Lauren Alaina or Miley Cyrus. Lauren Alaina singing Miley is almost too much for me to handle. What's worse is Lauren's poofy tutu thing and those cowboy boots.

K she's not really killing this song. I do acknowledge she has a good voice, but I didn't love this. She can do better. You cannot even compare her abilities to Pia, and no i do NOT think she will be taking Pia's votes. Oh, surprise of the century, the judges have no constructive criticism for Lauren. AND Steven Tyler is making no sense.

Wow her dress is awful.

Third up is Stefano. I do like Stefano. I think he's doing a good job this week. It's not epic but it's good! Probably one of his own best performances on idol. Do I think he's going to be America's next superstar singing sensation? No. Is he better than the first two we heard? Yes, for sure. Oh Randy agrees with me about this being his best song. And next is Steven Tyler, once again making Zero sense. Aw Stefano, I'm proud of him. He's a qt.

On another positive note, i'm SO glad I never have to hear Naima again. How awful was she??

Okay great, here's Scotty singing a country song that I've never heard of in my life. Did Scotty really just say he's "going back to his country roots?" When has he EVER EVER strayed from his country roots? The only songs he sings are country, and they are all awful. He is so, so, bad.

Seriously, if the judges think he's good, and they don't critique him, I'm officially moving to Canada because i no longer want to live in a country that supports this awful singer.

Well it looks like I'm moving to Canada. Seriously, I'm taking the first plane out of JFK. Can't deal. Scotty is AWFUL! I hope the bagels are good in Canada. (Bagels are an intrinsic and important part of my diet.)

Casey A is next singing Natureboy? What is that? Is that a song? K so the beginning of the song kinda sucked, I'm a little bit over his whole shtick. The end is picking up, he's cool, he's different, I'm just to be honest, kinda over him. Cool song though. The beginning was so slow it kind of ruined it for me. The end picked up though, for sure.

Wow okay so after some further research on my own during the commercial break, I realized that Nature Boy is actually a really really cool song by Nat King Cole. I just listened to the original, and its pretty bad ass. Casey is now a little bit cooler for choosing that song.

Next up is Haley bop singing Blondie's Call Me. I think she'll do really well and i'm looking forward to hearing her! She's my fave thus far. Ohhh i like her boots! I'm into boots. So there are parts of her performance that are awesome, and others that are just okay. I don't think this is her best performance.

I love how the one time the judges give someone a criticism, they give it to the best people who do NOT deserve the criticism. Haley is the last person that should be criticized. I mean really, nothing bad to say about frickin Scotty and then you tell Haley to choose another song?? Come on. Seriously now.

Haley is my favorite.

Why do Jacob Lusk's suits never seem to fit properly? Very ill-fitted suits every week. But that's neither here nor there. I've been over J-Lusk since episode 2. He has a good voice, he's not going to be the next American Idol, and I think he is going to be eliminated tomorrow.

Tyler Perry is actually speaking gibberish right now to Jacob Lusk. Not making any sense.

Last guy tonight is James Durbin singing with a sketchy looking dude who has luxurious blonde locks. James appears to be doing some sort of a back handstand while this guy plays guitar for like 5 minutes straight. James really isn't singing much, but okay fun performance. The only words he's singing are "call it heavy metal." How long did it take him to memorize those tricky lyrics??? No I don't know, he's a fun performer. He's good, I could see him in the Top 3.

Well, looks like that's all for tonight. My new top 3 are Haley, James, and Stefano. I'd also like to report that I will be muting all future performance of Scotty McCreepster, so I will no longer be commenting on his singing.

Xoxo,
Sam.